When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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