All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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