playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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