that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
