turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
