The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
