the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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