i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize