You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
