..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I could have mohawked her pubes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
