Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
