Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
