Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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