I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
