i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
