It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How naked do you want me to be?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize