I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize