I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
