All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
