found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
