and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
