I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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