didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
