Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
not ubering you a puppy
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
