Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
