she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize