After last night, I could never be a politician.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
