Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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