"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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