"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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