I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize