I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
