she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
