i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
