You're my little dorito
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just found puke in my bra..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
