Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
