i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
