My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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