Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
