i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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