I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
