I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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