is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize