Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
