I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
