We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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