If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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