when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
