She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
