literally had 100 drinks last night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
