He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
