New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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