So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
