we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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