i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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