i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
