My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize