you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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