All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
